saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
