this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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