its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
