Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
