You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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