The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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