we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
