He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
