he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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