dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
