It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
