Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
