Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
