I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Randomize
