I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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