So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
