and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
