Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
