That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
