Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
