I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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