at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
