I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
