She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize
