I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Randomize
