i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
