Nicole vs. Life
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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