mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
You work out of a Hotel?
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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