If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize