peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
