i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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