Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
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