You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
