i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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