My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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