Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Enjoy the penises
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
