I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
