): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
