we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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