Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
