let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Randomize
