one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
