Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
