Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize