Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
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