your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
