Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
