i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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