like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
