SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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