somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
