I wannas sexs uuuuu
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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