I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
