I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
