You just made me feel so damn special
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
