if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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