He is such a slut. More and more my type.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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