I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
