writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize