You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
