So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
