I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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