I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
