it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize